Whenever I start to feel the desire to write again, I usually have thoughts swirling around in my brain for a few days before anything goes down on 'paper'. This has been the case, once again, for the last week or so in preparation for writing this post. One of my dearest friends is having to walk thru the same fire I endured 4 years ago. This is another one of those times that everyone is left wondering and asking why? Part of the cruelty of this world is that there is no pattern or system of who dies when. People are plucked from our lives so suddenly that we're left with bewilderment and the reality of what we've always been told; life's not fair. I can't fully express to my dear friend the sense of loss that we all feel or that I know what that gaping hole in her heart feels like...so, I've decided to write down my tribute to her Mom. Words are never enough to wholly describe a person or their life. The things we most often remember are sounds, pictures, or the feelings they gave us. Having said that, I'd like to express as best as possible my memories of Jane.
My first encounter with Jane Rogers was as my 8th grade basketball coach for Milton's feeder team. I was still going to private school at the time so the only girl on the team that I knew was my friend from FCA who was also playing on the team. Jane welcomed us without hesitation. She may have even given us a little too much freedom at practice, which allowed Jenny and I to lie about how many free throws we made and avoid running laps. She always made practice fun and as frustrated as she may have gotten during games, she never once lost her temper with any of us. She would dutifully hold her hand out in the midst of a game for Jenny to spit out her old gum in. As we moved into high school, Jane transitioned from my coach to a regular influence in my life as I spent more and more time at the Rogers house. She made sure to keep the house stocked at all times with our favorite snacks and when she told you to make yourself at home, she truly meant it! Saturday mornings were always greeted with Jane in the kitchen making us cinnamon rolls before we woke up. One night Jane was taking Jenny and I to a restaurant for a double date before we could drive. We were both SO nervous on our way there. Without telling us, Jane took a little detour and pulled into the parking lot of The Cooler ice rink. She parked at the far end of the lot where it overlooked the mall area. She told us to get out and just sit for a few minutes. We sat on the hood of the car and after a little while, Jenny and I gained the confidence we needed and were ready to go. That moment left such an impression on me. It was one of those innate Mom moments when she knew exactly what we needed. She knew that bailing wouldn't be the best thing for us, but she also didn't throw us in the fire before we were ready. We just needed a timeout. My basketball tapes from high school are full of Jane and my Dad fussing at me or Jenny, or yelling at the refs about another bad call, but as embarassing as it was back then, Jenny and I always knew we had the biggest fans in the building. Jerry and Jane deserve some sort of medal for all the trips they took us on. I'm certain they had better things to do than listen to 5 girls sing NSYNC songs all the way to Destin...but they never complained or told us to keep it down. In fact, I'm pretty sure Jane smiled through the whole thing. Jane's happiness came from making other people happy. There's no telling how many nights Jerry and Jane were kept awake into the wee hours of the morning by laughter from dressing up in Jerry's hunting gear, or screams from watching scary movies in the basement. When my mom passed away, the first place I went upon arriving back from Nashville was the Roger's house for dinner. Jane always knew what people needed. And despite having just finished chemo, she insisted on coming down to Florida for my wedding where she promptly spent the weekend in the hospital, but she never thought twice about being there for me. With the types of friendships we've had with each other for going on 17 years, we all kind of shared each other's Moms. Every one of our Moms entrusted the other ones on any given weekend to take care of us like they would. Losing Jane is losing one of my Moms. She gave so much of herself to this world. As a Mom myself now, I'm so grateful to have another example to look to of how to be a selfless wife and mother. Jane left a permanent imprint on my life and I am truly blessed to have known her and been cared for by her.
